Love, February ~ Day 9, 2017

I love being alone.  I love to wake up without anyone else around, and I can enjoy the process of starting my day.  I can lay in bed for hours looking at jokes on tumblr, cuddling with my cat, and pondering all the things I have put off pondering.  I can watch sunlight slowly fill the sky, and the air go from dark to light with all its shades in-between.

I don’t have to dress like someone will see me, I don’t have to make conversation, I don’t have to defend my rush or slowness to get ready.  I don’t have to be productive right away. I can dance and I can sing, or I can sit in silence and feel.  I make my decisions based on myself and myself alone, and feel no pressure to make them otherwise.

I love being alone, though not all the time.  When I am alone too often I start to live too much within my head, I become set in ways that don’t allow for other people to be close.  When I am alone most of my talking is to myself, and I begin to make up narratives about events and people that perhaps are not through, as I cannot always reason through the decisions of others.

I love being alone, but like many things I love (ice cream, cake, death defying stunts), I should not have it all the time.  I just ask to spend only half my time alone, at least.  That should be healthy, right?

Love,
February

PS: alone doesn’t count my cat, obviously.

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